Monday, September 7, 2026
AshleyBands Weekly | September 7-13
Popcorn closes Wednesday, the Regiment performs Friday, and our September 26 mattress fundraiser is approaching.
The bands continued to rehearse well last week, and all classes have made progress. But one moment from Tuesday has stayed with me.
I attended the New Hanover County Board of Education meeting to accept recognition for our band's Program of Distinction award. While I was there, the marching band was back at Ashley rehearsing as if I were standing in front of them. They learned the next section of drill I had given them and reviewed the entire show so far.
I felt an incredible sense of pride in them. Being recognized for our program was an honor, and knowing what our students were doing back at school made that evening even more meaningful.
We spend a lot of time working on notes, rhythms, and drill. We are also building a culture where students take ownership of the work and understand that their contribution matters to everyone around them. Tuesday gave me a chance to see how much that culture has grown. They knew what needed to happen, and they kept moving forward together.
That is what came to mind when I read this piece by Paul Kile. It is written for music teachers, but I wanted our families to read it, too. It speaks to the connection between belonging, trust, and the kind of musical growth we are seeing in our students.
The Sound of Belonging: What I Wish I Knew on Day One
by Paul Kile
From the September 2026 newsletter of the Servant Leadership Association for Music (SLAM). Original newsletter.
Pull up a chair. Grab some coffee—or whatever caffeine source is getting you through this week.
First off, take a deep breath. I know that looking at a room full of empty chairs, music stands, or choir risers right before the first bell of the year can feel overwhelming. You’ve got your lesson plans printed, your score study done, and about a thousand logistics swirling around in your head. It’s totally normal to want to rush right in, hand out the syllabus, pass out the handbooks, and start drilling concert pitch.
But if I can give you one piece of advice that took me years to truly figure out, it’s this: Don’t rush to the downbeat.
In music education, we talk a lot about high standards, precision, and performance ratings. But high standards don’t mean a thing if your kids don’t feel safe enough to make a mistake in front of you. True musical excellence doesn't start with a tuning note—it starts with belonging.
The Power of the Doorstep
Imagine being a freshman walking into your music room for the very first time. You’re carrying a heavy instrument case, sure, but you’re also carrying every insecurity, bad morning, and social anxiety of your day. Now imagine walking through that door and finding your director right there at the threshold—not buried behind a computer screen or frantically sorting sheet music, but standing right there, smiling, looking you in the eye.
"Hey, I’m so glad you’re here today."
That’s it. It takes three seconds, but it changes everything. It tells that student, You are seen. You matter here.
When they sit down, give them something simple to bridge the gap. I love using foldover cardstock nametag cards over the music stands. On the front facing you, they write their preferred name. But the back—the side only you and they see—is where the real magic happens. Ask them to write down their pronouns, their favorite non-musical hobbies, or what album they’re currently obsessing over. In five seconds flat, you stop seeing just "Third Clarinet" or "Second Soprano," and you start seeing the human being behind the instrument.
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." — John C. Maxwell
Let Them Talk to Each Other
Here’s a mistake a lot of us make early on: we focus so much on getting the kids to connect with us that we forget they need to connect with each other. A choir can only blend as deeply as the singers trust the person next to them, and a brass section only locks in when they’re actually paying attention to each other.
Before you dive into technical warm-ups, let them break the ice. Pair up a tubist with a flutist, or a tenor with a soprano, for two minutes just to talk about their favorite food or the skill they hope to master this year. Have them turn around and give a warm-up high-five across sections.
And try giving them ownership of the room right away. Hand everyone a sticky note and ask, "What’s one word that describes a team you actually want to be a part of?" They’ll write things like trust, laughter, hard work, and kindness. When they stick those up on the wall, they aren't following your rules anymore—they’re building their own culture.
"Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do." — John Wooden
The Magic Trick: Connection Drives Musician Skills
Here is the secret sauce you’ll see unfold over the next few months: when kids feel connected, their musical risk-taking skyrockets.
When a kid knows their peers aren't judging them, they aren't terrified to sing that solo, play through a tough passage alone, or admit when they’re lost. Vulnerability stops being scary and becomes the exact door through which real artistry enters the room.
And honestly? That’s where our job gets really special. When you teach a student how to listen across the room to balance a chord, you’re teaching them active listening for their relationships. When you teach them to take constructive feedback on their posture or tone without feeling defeated, you’re building resilience for their future jobs. You aren't just teaching music; you're building people.
"Coach the person, not just the player. When you serve the heart of the athlete—or musician—the performance takes care of itself." — Tony Dungy
You’ve Got This
You don't need to have a perfect rehearsal on Day One. You need to show up, serve your students, and create a space where they want to come back tomorrow. Lead with empathy, keep your standards high because you care, and remember why you got into this job in the first place.
As Dr. Tim Lautzenheiser always reminds us, character is the foundation of everything we do. Set the tone, serve the kid first, and the music will follow. Now go have a great first !
"What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying." — Dr. Tim Lautzenheiser
Perry's Gourmet Popcorn orders close Wednesday, September 9. Share the fundraiser, choose Ashley HS Band, and include the student's full name in the optional seller note if supporting a particular student.
The Screaming Eagle Regiment performs at Ashley's home football game against Fike this Friday, September 11. Kickoff is at 7:00 p.m.
Our mattress fundraiser is Saturday, September 26, from 10:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. in the Ashley full-size gym. Know someone who needs a mattress? Please invite them personally.
Ashley Concert Band and Wind Ensemble have been accepted to perform at Carnegie Hall in March 2027. Learn more about the program and the story behind this opportunity.